Los Angeles, 2012: I'd spent all of my Australian money and was down to my last $200. I needed a job. Preferably a job paying fast cash. Luckily, West Hollywood was the home of fast cash.
Have you been to Santa Monica Blvd in West Hollywood? I have. Every day I would ride my bike past windows of guys dancing with money in their undies... I wanted that money.
On a Friday afternoon at 2pm I knocked on the door of a business called "Eleven Nightclub" (it was called Eleven because it opened at 11pm). A lady opened the door and I said "I want to be one of those undies dancers... with the money" She said well luckily the managers are here, so come out the back for an audition" - I thought "how good is Hollywood! It's just like the movies."
I walked out the back, and there were two guys sitting in chairs. I told them about my aspirations to be a undie dancer. One guy stood up (he was muscly and definitely on steroids) and put some music on, and then said "dance". So I just did some very basic side-to-side hip movement and said "obviously I will do more on the night". They weren't impressed.
Then they said take your top off and pants off. And I did, not full nude. just into my G (Unfortunately I had no money in my G at this stage, it was a "dry g" as they say in the biz).
One of the guys "said you start tonight, start filling up that g". I thought "wow, what a wonderful business opportunity." After a beat I said "now before I start, can I come and watch first, just to see how it works?", they said "sure".
So I went down and the undie dancer made $500, but 500 guys touched his dick. I did the math and it wasn't good. But out of the corner of my eye I saw a guy with a fluorescent vodka tray, bow tie, no top, hot pants and I thought "that's classy, that's what I want to do". And that night I became the new vodka shot boy at an Eleven nightclub in West Hollywood.
Check out the photo below; The first week of running my new business: