Hand modelling

by Ash Williams

Melbourne, 2005: At 5pm one evening my modelling agent texted me saying 'send me a photo of your hands ASAP!'. Now this wasn't normal, because I'd never done hand modelling. Nonetheless, I asked my Mum to take a photo of my hands and sent them through. Five minutes later my agent called saying they want to use my hands on a 'black & decker' TV commercial tomorrow, and I'd be paid $500. I said 'cool man' and told my Mum the great news. She was pumped!

The next day I turned up and the director said 'alright, we've only got one shot at this because once we put the black & decker power sander on the window sill, the window sill is going to be fucked'. Then he said 'so Ash, have you ever used a power sander before?' I replied 'yes' (I'd learnt that yes was the right answer in these situations, even if the answer was definitely no) even though I have literally never used a power tool before (I was actually banned by my younger brother from using our family lawn mower because he said I ran over rocks and blunt the blade. What the hell would he know!?). Anyway, the director said 'alright, let's go for a take, and remember we've only got one shot at this! Ash are you ready?. I replied 'yeah mate'. "AND ACTION!" he shouts, I had the power sander in my hand and approached the window sill deliberately, I then went to sand and the power sander flew out of my hand, leaving the window all scuffed up. The director yells  'fuck! what happened!?' I said 'sorry mate, this power sander is different to the one I use'. Then he thanked me for my time and said they could finish the commercial without me. I only saw the commercial on TV a few times, and I'm only 50% sure they used my hands.

Easy money. 

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