CONTINUED: I woke up in the morning and as I usually do I went to the toilet (I don't know about you) and there was a huge amount of spew and poo - more than one man could do, in fact, more than 10 men could do. And I looked in the bath, and there was the same amount of poo and spew. It was like a spew and poo troff, if I didn't know better I would think it was soup.
And then I thought "hang on, did I do this?" Holy shit, I mean if I did, it was a personal best for me. Like it was disgusting, but it's still a record. Just a huge amount, I can take a positive out of this. I'm quite the man, a real man poo's in the bath.
But as I looked at it closer, I didn't think I did it, because it didn't look like my work. I was innocent! I then whipped into a rage because I don't deserve this, I'm a businessman. I have a business degree from Deakin University goddamit!
So I stormed into the hotel managers office, and said "come with me, I've got something to show you!". We walked into my hotel room and I showed him the toilet and bath and said "look at it, look at it!". We both stood there for about 10 seconds, and he thought I'd dragged him in there just to show him what I'd done.
I said "mate, I didn't do this. It's not my work". He said "but, you're the only one in the room Mr Williams"
I said "how dare you, I'm businessman, and I demand a full discount or even half discount or just some discount, or I will never come back!"
He said "please never come back". I said "well answered". I thought, fuck what a bastard, he's answered pretty well there.
So I left vowing never to return.
But a week later I'd fallen on hard times, and needed Motel 6 again.
To be continued...