Whipping windscreens

by Ash Williams

Melbourne 2015: I was driving a hire car for a few months and realised I could make some money if I turned it into an uber. My first customer was a mate who called me up wanting a lift. He was really drunk and asked if he could get a lift from Richmond to Frankston. I said "yeah mate, that's gonna cost you $10 cash, but you're not allowed to spew in my car because it's a hire car!" (for the record if I owned the car, spewing is allowed) He agreed not to spew. As soon as he got in the car he took off his pants and was completely naked and then he took off his belt and started whipping the windscreen. The buckle hit the glass a few times and I said "look mate, nudity and belt whipping is allowed, just be careful because the windscreens in Nissan Micras aren't built to withstand contact". Five minutes later my mate spews everywhere. I pulled the car over and said "you know the rules, spew fee is $250 cash brother", I drove him straight to an ATM. And then we continued our drive to Frankston.

P.S It's a good business model, driving your mates around in a hire car trying to make them spew. 

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