King of Bondi

by Ash Williams

I feel like by now I shouldn’t have to preface these blogs by saying these are true stories, but this is a true story.

Bondi, August 2018: I was at the urinal and bloke looked at me and said ‘why are you so sunburnt? I said, ‘I’m not sunburnt and how about you show some respect to the King of Bondi’. He said ‘since when have you been the King of Bondi? I said ‘for a few weeks now, a lot of people have been saying it’. He said ‘yeah well my friend is meant to be the King of Bondi, he’s at the bar, you two should meet to determine who the real King is’. We walked out of the toilet and the guy pointed to his mate at the bar, I walked up without any pleasantries and said ‘so why are you the King of Bondi?’ and he said ‘I’m the King because I don’t drink with the plebs’. I laughed and said ‘well, I’m a King who drinks with the plebs, and only a true King drinks with the people’. I then walked off and haven’t seen him since.

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